Jareth has today learned to climb out of his play pin it won't be long before he's able to climb the baby gate now. and my feelings are mixed I'm proud of how strong he is and that he's acquired another new skill but I'm scared He'll be able to go anywhere next. I think about my mom and how she use to tell me about me kicking the slat out of my crib. She must have felt some of what I'm feeling right now proud that I was strong enough to and scared of what might happen if she took her eye off me even for a second now. I had already planed on switching Jareth to a toddler bed Christmas Eve. I hulled his old crib (which I hated) out to the curb a week or so ago put a "free crib" sign on it and was amazed at the mixed feelings I had when it was hulled away. A feeling of both "YES! THAT AWFUL THING IS GONE!" and "I laid him down in that the first night I brought him home *tear*" That first night that was over a year ago now I remember staying up half the night trying to figure out what was wrong why he couldn't or would not go to sleep I did everything but it was not tell i took him out of that huge crib and put him in his bassinet that he finely stopped crying closed his eyes and slept through the rest of the night. I understood instantly that he had been in my crowded and comforting womb for 9 (I still say it was 10) Months the bigness of the crib was scary to him and the bigness of the world I brought him in to makes me scared for him now but now it's different He doesn't have fear he grew in and out of that old crib and now out of his play pin and slowly he's growing in to the world around him I can only set back and watch as these changes take place far to fast for my comfort and hope that I'm equiped to help him transition shed a mommy tear for how big he's getting take a deep breath and face that he's not going to be this little forever and i'm gonna miss this.
Becca Reigh
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